Back-to-Back Bananas II: Bananas are Back!
In this sequel to the most popular fruit game ever, it’s up to you to place those wacky yellow animated ‘nanas together. But watch out: Harpo’s here again, too, and this time he has a giant tuba in his jacket!

Misreading the Classics
Can you spot the misquoted classic quote before the cudgel of Chaucer or the shillelagh of Sartre crushes your new pen-and-ink set?

Dungeon Ducks
Let the battle of the bills begin! It’s Mallards vs. Mergansers in a strategic mythological melee.

Badger Sack
So, so many badgers. And only one sack.

My First Moustache
Navigate your 14-year-old hero through a maze of Chevron, Dali, Pencil, Freestyle, Toothbrush, Fu Manchu, Handlebar, Horseshoe, Imperial, and more moustaches.

Handroid
Thanks to the magic of Spacestar Ordering, you’ve found yourself with what you most wanted: a robot hand.

Similarly Invisible
Join the quest! Put together the clues as you try to find your match in this social-mobile sensation where nothing is on screen and there are no clues!

Pompous Ringleader
It’s a circus of the narcissistic stars in this struggle of the un-humble. Who will end up with the magic elephant? Only those who play in a most smarmy manner.

Shiny Jackhammer
Whack-a-mole meets Mrs. Doubtfire in this battle to rout the rodents without ever getting dust on your hammer.

Granageddon
It’s a demon in a wig, and it’s after your neighborhood with a bunch of blue-haired fiends in tow. You’ll have to enter the crunch without losing your knitting needles in this action-strategy hit for all ages from 6 to 86.

Naïve Garbage Man
Match the rubbish with the proper bin or your screen starts to smell (warning: experimental technology involved).

Ben-Hurricane
It’s a tic-tac-toe triumph with twisters versus Centurions and every space strategically important. But some, honestly, more important than others.

Dr. Kuhulu and the Mystic Mystery of Madness Manor: An Unexpected Journey to the Land that Time Forgot
Can you travel the back roads to unravel the cryptic clues in time to get away from the tyrannosaurus before the manor crumbles under the ancient gypsy curse?

The Secrets of Smith
The game that made the Internet cry. Tears of sweet, sweet joy. Then some of sadness. Then a few more of joy.

Teefies Go Ouch!
The evil Dr. D.K. (who calls himself a “Dr.” though he only has a Master’s degree) is out to spray his cavity ray at every pearly white in sight. Only you can smear enough chocolate on to save the day in this backwards world.

Sainted Showdown IV
Nicholas the Mystic vs. James the Lesser: Pick your saint. Pick your weapon. The robe-off is on again!

Quelle Surprise Suppertime
Play the edible game that inspired the hit song: “What’s under that plate cover, today, what’s under that plate cover, today, it could be chick-en mole, it could be a potato croquet, it could be a chocolate parfait, what’s under that plate cover, today.”

Dictatortots IV: Pommes Presidenté
The game of potato conquest that’s won six “Spuddies” already is back with a European campaign that’s sure to butter your brains.

Deathray of Sunshine
It’s race day at the Deathray track, and the competition is on with six other sunshine vehicles for the Cup of Doom – but be sure you make it to the finish line without falling into any rain traps.

Scrapple Deluxe
May include possum.

Don’t Offend Australia
The international*** game of dart diplomacy pits your throwing prowess against all comers.

Indifferent Penguin
What can you do to make that wobbly penguin care enough about you to smile? I’d start by blasting away the mean ol’ ice monsters with your hot chocolate ray and then double dose them with your marshmallow mallets. But that’s just me.

*As Curtis once said, “Please don’t steal. Or, if you do, steal well.”

**Hey, these aren’t real games. But if you want to pretend they are, and talk about them to your friends on FriendFace, or whatever social thing you do, well, okay. We dig you.

***Only available in English.

And now, here you go:

Bitter Critter Zoo
Something’s gone horribly wrong with your newest exhibit — and only you can restore order and save the zoo! Catch all those Bitter Critters, then convince them there’s still hope for the future. This ain’t no zootopia . . . but it’s still your job to save it!

Error Code 0-4384
You’ve been hired to locate the missing cure to the world’s latest pandemic. But to get the antidote and save the world, you’ll need to find over 2,100 hidden objects and uncover the clues!

Dictator Tots III: Despotato
The tyrannical tubers are up to no good . . . again. It’s up to you to infiltrate their political network and fry these evil potatoes once and for all. But be warned: they have eyes everywhere!

Vicious Unicycle
Spokes fly in this battle for street-performance supremacy! Battle Harpy, the Robot Unicycle in juggling, singing and harmonica challenges. But look out for flying bongos!

SocketMania
Mechanics everywhere call SocketMania “the best game featuring socket wrenches ever!”

Hungry Gourds
From the makers of Plants vs. Zombies comes Plants vs. Zombie Plants! Undead gourds are coming to eat your gardens. Do you have what it takes to squash your competition? (Sorry.)

Nickel & Dime: Private Investigators
Team up with a friend in this co-op detective game. Play in black and white or Technicolor. Rated E-10, for some tobacco usage.

Fiscal Clifford
Histories collide as Martin Short is an obnoxious 10-year-old boy who is adopted by a big red dog named Clifford Geertz. Can you, too, learn the meaning of life?

Sidewalk Gum Finder
Clean up the streets and earn rewards in this action-packed social game. Compete against friends in Timed mode, relax in Zen mode, and for a sticky challenge, take on ABC mode!

Sea Salty: Dog Sailor
Set sail with Salty on a search for the lost treasure of Mutt’s Island! Chart your course and survive storms and Cat Pirates. Look! There’s a dogfish!

Cupcake Overlord
A chemical spill just outside your cupcake shop turned your chocolate treat into an evil Belgian villain! Can you stop the Cupcake Overlord before he turns the entire town into dessert?

Thyme Travelers
The first in our culinary education game series! Join Tina and Timmy on a historical tour about their species. Explore ancient Greece, battle nightmares, and discover natural disinfectant and medicine. Plus, learn to make a killer Espagnole sauce.

Coffee Cops
Coffee crimes are at an all-time caffeine high. Help the Coffee Cops nab all the villains and send them to the Tea Tree. This game is certified fair trade.

Mice Fishing
I love this game.

Here is the list, with explanatory statements as needed.

Karma Hoe-Down – Behavioral therapists said it couldn’t be done, but we (almost) did it: a game that combines Timothy Leary psychedelia with Old McDonald. For kids of all ages.

Vampyromaniacs – You’re a member of a blood-sucking undead Def Leppard cover band. Will you make it far enough to play the “Love Bites” third encore?

The Oh Well Well – Where every sigh counts and a swoon counts double!

Posthole Digger’s Revenge –  Those dratted postholes are at it again. But getting revenge isn’t as hollow as you think.

Dictatortots II: Tyrantipasta – In this follow up to the USPB award-winning game of potato-product domination, the Penne Potentate has taken over southern Europe. Can you lead the brave freedom-fighting olive resistance?

Ready. Fire. Aim! – The hilarious game where it’s not what you hit but how much you meant to hit it that counts.

Bought the Farm Report – You’re stuck in Cincinnati in this feverish fly trap, with duel goals of reporting on a recent attack of the un-dead and protecting blond triplets.

Disastrophe – Just when it couldn’t get any worse.

Demolicious – The tragic follow up to Disastrophe.

Pandora’s Suggestion Box – What plague or evil will be suggested in this classic game where the goal is to make the day, the office, and the world a mess faster than the competition.

Now Drink This! – Take the place of Jerry “The Professor” Thomas in this game of bartending blarney. But is buttoning a vest while tossing a flaming Blue Blazer and chatting wittily about the Brooklyn Superbas an unattainable goal?

Here Comes the Sponge – Ba da da da, here comes the sponge, ba da da da, here comes the sponge, and you’ll say, it’s all right.

Taxi Crab – If only driving in reverse wasn’t so darn difficult.

What’s That Smell? – Olfactory hijinks abound when game controllers are plugged into every player’s nose. Let the best nostril win.

Crisp Factory – It’s crunch time at the Stockton-on-Tess crisp factory. Take control of stock quotas, packaging design, and protracted legal battles over sodium RDAs. But watch out for Alistair, the union boss. He’s right behind you!

Frenzeitgeist – A maelstrom of social media, trend watching, and catchphrasing, this first-person shooter was eventually deemed too violent.

Oops! – This upsy-daisy matching game never made it past the drawing board because we kept tripping over the drawing board.

Indeterminate Holster – Are you quick enough to tell if it’s a holster or not? The clock is ticking.

Fudge Trousers – The latest rage in culinary gaming has you pushing the boundaries and the temperature on the stove while trying to create delicate desserts shaped like common clothing.

Fleece the Yetis! – Grab your electric razor and get your snowshoes on as you chase cuddly yetis over hills and dales looking to shave ‘em and sell ‘em. Essential for all MBA students and fans of Banking Regulations: The Video Game.

Pleasant Horse – At one point, Unpleasant Horse arrived. It was unpleasant. Until now.

Monetizaur 2: The Microtransactionator – People who like dinosaurs that make money will love Monetizaur! This version takes it to another level.

Too Many Tonys – Bennett, Blair, Morrison, Randall, Soprano, Padua, the brownstone’s bursting with Tonys and they have to be escorted out before the aliens land. Warning: each Tony responds differently.

Up Your Chimney – It’s the ultimate Chimney Sweep vs. Bindlestiff showdown! The rest are only imitations.

I Am A.J. Rathbun – Actually, no one here really liked this idea but me. But you’ll agree, right, that it would have been perhaps the finest in the history of games?

*As Curtis once said, “Please don’t steal. Or, if you do, steal well.”

**This in no way equals a contract between us and you that would end in us actually ever making any of these games, even if you start talking about the game on various media, including sandwich boards. Though the latter would be quite cool.

Okay: so, maybe none of these are real. Who am I to judge the existence of something? All I can say is: we liked these (fake?) game ideas so much that we felt it our responsibility to share them with the world.

*Please don’t steal. Or, if you do, steal well. Actually… you can have Kraken Derby… none of us are huge fans of that one.

And now, the list, with a few explanations.

No Soup For Ewe!  – Help Huey the Ewe fill his bowl with soup — before the mean old fox finds Huey!

Borscht Bolt – What’s this game about? Beets me!

Monetizaur – People who like dinosaurs that make money will love Monetizaur!

Fear Factor Bejeweled – Face your biggest fears and match gems at the same time!

Rockette Mania – Match Rockette dancers in rows to create a line of leg-kicking crazies.

Sock Puppet Cage Match – You have no idea how much I love this. And you can too!

Interrupting Cow Part II — Electric BoogaMoo  (This needs no explanation.)

Mystery P.I. – Buckingham Malice  (We always knew something was odd about that place.)

Elephant Tied Us – Can you escape the wrath of the crazy, knitting elephant?

First, Person-Shooter – This is all about the punctuation. Those who have ears to hear…

Millinery Mania – I have no idea what this is.

Frittata Frenzy – Italian omelets… they’re everywhere, and they’re fast. Can you cook enough to fill Guiseppe’s gondola?

Monkey Smuggler – Save the monkeys! Sneak them out of the zoo and get them back to the wild, and battle angry zookeepers and the hungry Lion Droid!

Mars Rover: Dogs in Space – Also called “Mutts on Mars,” this educational video game rolled over and played dead just before launch.

Highwire Octopus – Lead the octopus over a series of terrifying challenges. It’s tentacular!

Designer Gene Pool Party – There’s something in the water… and it’s fantastic! Design your perfect you and then mingle with other perfect people in this hit Facebook game. We put the “social” in social Darwinism!

Kraken Derby – Go fast and win big in this stylish new racing game. Choose your favorite tiny car, gear up your kraken, and race against the Shriners!

Cheeses vs. Vampires – Take on nocturnal invaders by fighting back with cheddar, swiss, and of course, garlic cheese! It’s a gouda time for the whole family. (Sorry.)

Jaspartu: The World’s Clumsiest Monster – Jaspartu is stumbling around town, destroying everything within falling distance. Only you — a small English boy named Alastair — can control him. Can you trip him up before he accidentally smashes you?

Raccoon Hunter/Raccoon’s Revenge – We were going to ditch conventional thinking and release the original and the sequel at the same time. Because everybody loves either raccoons or their hunters!

Marcel Battle: Proust vs. Marceau – For all the French literature/film lovers out there, now’s your chance to decide who the best Marcel is… shoot straw men and red herring at your enemies — but don’t let your pinkie finger touch your glass!

High Altitude Bakery – The time-management game of the year — can you figure out how to bake perfect baguettes on Mount Everest before it’s too late?

Dictator Tots – Tater tots have taken over the world — and are holding most of the world’s corn supply hostage! Join Kernel Moustard in a battle of good vs. evil!

Bounce House of Horrors – Bounce your way through an overflowing dreamland full of teddy bears with teeth and Dracula in a nightgown. Nightmares have never been this fun!

That’s about it… for now. Maybe we’ll share more in the future. If you’re good.