Note: You’ll see that I tried my best to limit this list to characters whose names start with ‘L’…

Lemmings – Lemmings

Oh, Lemmings: I spent so many hours in the early 1990s guiding these guys around obstacles and toward safety. They were amazing little pixel people, and I like to think that they were a wonderful representation of the poor, weak, and downtrodden of the world—but, you know, a much more fun version. If you never met a Lemming—one from this game, that is—do yourself a favor and figure out a way to play the game. It will do good things for your soul.

Lex – Bookworm

The first time I played Bookworm, I liked it. The first time I played Bookworm Adventures, I LOVED it. I was fortunate enough to play early versions and see how the team built up the game and created all the “mythology” within it.

Really, if you’ve never paid much attention to this game, you should—and you should read every word, because it’s hilarious. And Lex represents all that is good and hilarious and fun about Bookworm Adventures. Because, well, he’s the Bookworm.

Link – The Legend of Zelda

Link was — especially in the early incarnations — just a regular kid in a fantasy world. But it was up to him to battle the evil forces throughout Hyrule to save Princess Zelda. He didn’t have clever dialogue or anything, so it had to be that I just connected with him on a basic level: sure, he gained powers as you progressed in the game, but in the beginning he was basically just a normal kid. For me, pretending I was Link was a much easier thing to do than pretend I was an Italian plumber… and probably because it seemed to me so much easier to screw things up in Zelda… so I was always connected to Zelda’s save-the-princess game more than Mario.

Left Paddle – Pong

Am I stretching the truth a bit? Why would I do that?

I don’t think this needs much explanation. Simply put: I was awesome from the left, and only mediocre from the right. And, also, thanks to A.J. for reminding me of this.

Listen: I care what you think about almost everything. But not this. You can argue for either paddle, if you like. But, as all the Democrats say: The left side is the best side. (Granted, they say that about things much less important than Pong.)

Awkward Transition:

The L train stops here. And, can you blame me? Well, probably…

Soda Popinski – Punch Out!!

I’m not proud of this. There’s no good way to justify loving a character that is so clearly playing up racial stereotypes — possibly one of the worst of all the characters in a game 1Up.com called the fourth most racist video game ever. I mean, it’s like Nintendo created Popinski based on an early draft of Drago from Rocky IV — the one they scrapped because he was too offensive, even during the Cold War.

But the truth is: everybody loves a villain. During the Cold War — even right up to the end when Punch-Out!! arrived — America especially loved a Russian villain.

Soda Popinski was magical to me. I thought he was the toughest character to defeat in the original Punch-Out!! I thought the way he did the Kozachok dance mid-fight and guzzled soda (was it soda, or something more distinctly Russian? His name was originally supposed to be Vodka Drunkenski) between rounds was hilarious. And each time I played through the game, my goal was always to reach him — then get really angry when he pummeled Mac.

But we chose our favorites from the outliers, and they are pretty great. I love the nods to the character himself and the game he comes from. You Hidden Agenda players are some clever folks, and I enjoyed reading through your captions. So here are the top four, for your consideration.

We recently heard from a fan who wanted to share his doggy’s animated reaction to the Zombie head plushy. I don’t know about you, but I’m putting this doggy on my shortlist for companions to have along in the Zombie Apocalypse.

This little Zombie head plushy is limited edition, but check out the beautiful plushies available on PvZstore.com!

P.S. to Joseph: We tried replying to you and it bounced… thanks for the video, and stop by our table again next year to say hi!

And as usual, I had a stowaway in my luggage, so now I present to you London, from the Zombie point of view.

Zombie was intrigued by the possibilities, as phone booths don't exist in the US, and they look like they'd make excellent traps. Unfortunately, even an undead nose could tell how bad this little enclosure smelled, which made it unlikely anyone with active olfactory connections in their brainz would come along.

Zombie also pondered the potential of the turnabout... but this kind of traffic arrangement only stuns and disorients Americans. The locals get around just fine.

With a sign conveniently instructing people to run this way, Zombie thought his luck had turned. But eventually he noticed he was in violation of the other half of the sign and moved along.

Zombie graciously volunteers to eat brainz of West End sign makers, as they are clearly not in use.

And finally, Disco Zombie would just like to share with you a wall of bas-relief horses, for no other reason than that he finds them remarkably groovy.

Zombie has never been more comfortable in the presence of plants. Stuffing them with cheese, deep-frying them, and submerging them in sauce renders them immobile, helpless and oh-so-delicious.*

The vasty vista makes even Disco Zombie contemplative. The desert is beautiful... and has far fewer plants than Seattle.

Zombie wanted desperately to get up to that bus that's stuck in the wall — it's just Zombie's size and would make a way cool tour bus for disco revival. Sadly, out of reach.**

Zombie has never seen a human as creepy as the one in this picture. Zombie is very very okay with that. Some brainz not worth eating.

This ladder leads up to a little walkway all around the house just below ceiling level, for the cat's enjoyment and exercise. Zombie thought it was cool to get way above and enjoy the brainz-eye view of the household.***

* This is the chile relleno platter at Bea’s 2 in Albuquerque. If I were super-rich, I would fly down to NM regularly just to eat at this restaurant. The food is so good, I wouldn’t even feel guilty about my carbon footprint. It’s at Wyoming and Zuni, just off Route 66.  Go.

** This rad mural wall is at the comic book store Astro-Zombies, on Central in Albuquerque. The wall is so much cooler when you can see all of it… I briefly envied those with that new phone that does panoramic pictures.

*** Yes, my mom’s house is that cool. A cat walkway.

So here’s my chance to ask a question I genuinely wonder about, and better still, here’s your chance to weigh in for your favorite gaming platform. Again, I must point out, there is nothing terribly official about this poll. But if the number of comments we get on this topic regardless of what we post about is any indication, you want us to know this stuff anyway!

And yes, it’s a hard choice. I even caved and allowed for multiple selections on the poll, because for me, it’s PC all the way! Except when it’s Xbox… and I’m sure there are others out there with equally split decisions.

"We've got everything we need except a caption"

Now comes the fun part. Send us your captions in the comments below and next week we’ll pick our favorites and post them on the blog. Then everyone will vote for their top pick and the winner will be publicly lauded for their brilliance and receive the eternal gratitude of our entire team of “English bitters” (and one somewhat tangy Theater major).

My caption: “Pass the oil. Keep the butter.”

Now go to it!

So don’t get your knickers in a bunch. Go ahead and celebrate July 16 by giving your sweetie a smooch (or just hug a pet). Then sit back and enjoy the latest video from our Bejeweled Blitz cats. And have a happy Monday!

P.S. Be sure to type the link at the end of the video into your browser to get a free Rare Gem. Then check your Facebook message center to claim it.

*Happy 24th Anniversary, MJF & TP

In honor of another vastly under-appreciated Normal Day, let’s remember the things that make each day a miracle. Waking up in the morning. Smelling the dog’s fishy breath. Eating creamsicles. Are you with me?

Well, it turns out that not everyone was preparing for Father’s Day last Saturday. Over in Bejeweled Blitz land, one of our laser cats apparently clawed her way into the, um, cookie jar. And, pardon me, but it looks like Snackers may have overindulged.

Have a great Monday!