Who wins in an underwater knife fight, you or a bear?

Thanks!

Jim Bowie

Dear Jimbo,

Is this some secret plan to get Zombie to talk about your amazing collection of knives? Because Zombie not falling for your gorilla marketing. Why you send gorillas to do your dirty work anyway? And how comes it you not ever use one of them fancy knives to trim those ridicleous sideburns? Don’t tell Zombie it was the style at the time. It never in style to look like a bridge troll. Just look at yourself. LOOK AT YOURSELF!

Okay, sorry, Zombie go’d a skosh off-topic. But seriously, you go out of the house looking like that? Zombie not dress like that to take out the trash. And Zombie not even wearing pants! So, come on dude, shape up.

Okays, one more try. Shake it out, Zombie, shake it out. huh-huh… huh-huh…fffffff huh-huh… fffffff huh-huh…. huh-hummmm-uh… huh hummmm-uh …

Look, lots of weird junk gots to line up to find Zombie and a bear in the water at the same time. It not like Zombie going in there looking for salmon or whatever. Is it relevant to this scenario to understand how Zombie and Bear ended up in water AND holding knives? That going to make Zombie head hurt. Is it fresh water or salt water? River or lake? What is a underwater knife? Zombie need details. But, if Zombie just gonna answer the question as presented, Zombie going to say Zombie win because bear can’t hold a knife. You wanna argue about it? Go to.

yrs,
Zombie

____________________________________________________________

Dear Zombie,

I just read a news article that early humans loved to eat antelope brains. Specifically, the article mentions finding dents inside animal skulls indicate humans “dug in with stones to get at the delicious, juicy brains inside.” Scientists also believe that “nutrient-rich brain tissue may have helped Homo erectus support larger bodies, bigger brains, and travel longer distances.”

I’m stunned by this news and the questions are (almost) endless:
• Did you know about this?
• Do antelope brains taste different than human brains? In what ways?
• Will eating brains really give me a bigger brain? Will this increase my IQ?
• Will eating brains make me taller and run farther?
• Can I get animal skulls with brains from the grocery or do I need to go to a specialty butcher?
• What tools work best for digging brains out of animal skulls? Stones seem kinda primitive.
• How juicy are brains? Like a ripe mango? More like watermelon?
• Are brains more nutrient rich than apples or kale?
• I’ve seen dried apple and kale snacks, do you think a dried brain snack would catch on? Would it still be good, even though the brains are no longer juicy?

Yrs,
Rob

Hey Rob,

Let Zombie answer your questions in order what they were received.

• Nope, but Zombie like the idea.
• Zombie not able to catch a antemelope and attempts at making crude projectiles to fell the beast from afar have, to this point, failed. But if Zombie have to guess (and Zombie do have to guess) Zombie would say antepalope brains probably taste more like nuts.
• FALLACY! Eating brains actually give you bigger butt so you can sit around cogitating (look it up). However brain size and IQ are unrelated. It not the size, it what you do with it. You could have biggest brain in world but if all you fill it with are episodes of “Baywatch Nights” (how that show not catch on?) and Larry the Cable Guy routines (which fill Zombie with blind and righteous anger) your skull going to be receptacle for big mound of pudding.
• Nope. Only thing to make you taller and run farther is to be tall and don’t stop running. Sorry to burst your bubble on that one.
• What am zombie? Home shopper? Maybe you could try the tall running thing by standing up and running to the store to ask the guy yourself. Sheesh. Zombie help thems what help themselves.
• Zombie prefer using hands for brain extraction, but errybody gotta find their own thing. Stones seem to work pretty good so maybe you give them a shot before you pooh-pooh them (yes, that’s right). You not always have to have latest technology to do simple tasks, Rob. Why you gotta be so difficult?
• Brains are juicy like wet mop. Smell kinda like wet mop too. Which is to say, deelishuz!
• Zombie not really pay much attention to nutrition. Zombie just lucky to have body what Zombie have. Do not really need to worry about all that other junk. Zombie just eat whatever Zombie want. Which are brains. Apples are things to kick or step on and Zombie not even accept that kale is a thing so do not bring that nonsense here.
• What horrible kind of place you shop in that sell apple and kale (which is not a thing) as snacks? While Zombie all for idea of sucking the life essence out of plants and hanging their dessicated remains on hooks for all to see, Zombie not know why anybody would want to eat it.

That all Zombie got. Hope it helps (but only a little).

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________

Dear Zombie-

What is your favorite zombie movie? Zombie play? Zombie style of dance? Zombie sport? Zombie dinosaur?

Very curious about zombies-

B.P.

Dear William,

Favorite zombie movie: Gran Torino. Clint Eastwood greatest living zombie actor! Look at that face!
Favorite zombie play: Hamlet. Little known fact, Hamlet’s father not a ghost. Actually a zombie. Bad transcription and lost pronunciations to blame. Also, Hamlet 2: Ophelia’s Revenge is really good but Shakespearean “scholars” too snooty to admit it into the canon. You got a problem? Call Charles Onions. (You can’t, though, because he died 40 years ago. Zombie just like saying “Charles Onions.”)
Favorite style of dance: Waltz. Zombie can’t count very high so waltz is perfect.
Favorite Zombie sport: It hard when avocation becomes vocation, but Zombie have to say hunting. For brains. That, or Frisbee golf.
Favorite Zombie dinosaur: Is that favorite dinosaur what is also a zombie? Or dinosaur that is favorite of Zombie? Either way, T-Rex. Evrybody make fun of them little arms but while they all pointing and laughing, T-Rex gobble ‘em up like peanuts. Why people so un-smart?

yrs,
Zombie

____________________________________________________________

Zombie bet lots of you have a question. Let Zombie answer it now:
Decision-making power not rest with Zombie. Ask something else.
As for the rest of you, write now or suffer never knowing how your life would be improved.
Find Zombie here: ZombieAdvice@PopCap.com.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

India

India who?

India-vent you don’t pack a sandwich, we can pick up tacos!

Good, right?

Felicia Felix-Mentor

Dear Mrs. Huxtable,

See, how this thing work is, you aks Zombie a thing and then Zombie answer that thing. Zombie not really know what to do with this one because you already answered. Do you even need Zombie here? Anyway, tacos is more of a peepul thing and not a zombie thing. Oh, unless youse is talking about tacos de sesos. Then Zombie totally on board with that. Extra sesos, hold the tacos.

Also too as well in addition, here is Zombie favorite knock-knock joke:

Knock knock!

Come in!

yrs,
Zombie

____________________________________________________________

Dear Zombie-

I was thinking of visiting the mummies of Ferentillo this summer, and it made me wonder – how do you feel about mummies? What about ghouls? Spectres? Wraiths? Are there undead parties? And if so, what music is played? And what shoes do you wear?

Curiously,
William Beckford’s Nephew

Dear Sir Peter,

Zombie dig mummies (tee hee, Zombie made a funny). Akchually, Zombie lurnt a lot of what Zombie know from mummies. Zombie can not say much about mummy fashion sense, but when chips are down, you gonna want a mummy in your corner. Also, Zombie not know what “when chips are down” means. Zombie pretty sure Zombie fall in to ‘ghoul’ classification so it probly comflict of interest to say too much about that (Ghouls Rule!). Also, Zombie not care about comflict of interest. Spectres are a little mopey, if you want to know the truth. They make pretty good punch, so they always get invites to undead parties but spend a lot of time just standing in corner being all “boo hoo, I am a spectre and not even that judgy one from the comic books.” AND YOU STAY AWAY FROM WRAITHS. Zombie have complimacated relationship with Wraiths and do not need you messing it up.

Man, are we still on this question?

As for music what play at undead parties (always shoes-optional, bee-tee-dub), if you guess “Monster Mash” then go outside and walk west until yer hat floats. There is usually rotating music reps risps duties for parties. Except Spectre lost music privileges after putting “Who Killed Mr. Moonlight?” on repeat and wouldn’t let nobody near the boom box. Talk about a downer. Note: a little Bauhaus go a long, long (long) way. Where was Zombie… oh, right, music. Two words: Yma Sumac.

yrs,
Zombie

____________________________________________________________

Akaw!

Do you ever go surfing or are you a beach leech? If you’re a choka surfer, what would be the top ten surfing beaches you’d visit if you wanted to avoid swallowing the chowder but don’t mind getting in the soup?

Dude,
Dude

Dude,

Zombie not speak yer moon language. But Zombie not a quitter so maybe can figure this out. Zombie not really into the whole beach scene, except that sometimes Zombie can find sleepy people, covered in oil just lying around. It kind of like a buffet, so there is that. Zombie have never choked a surfer before but is not against it in theory. As for beaches to visit, Zombie always want to see Chowpatty Beach in Mumbai for it’s beautiful sands or the beach at Blackpool (England) for the friendly locals, but for obvious reasons (to Zombie and anybody what speak Spanish or not speak Spanish but what can use Google Translate and then not be disappointed in Google Translate because it doesn’t work)  Zombie number one beach is Playa Zipolite in Mexico. Go ask Jeeves.

yrs,
Zombie
___________________________________________________________

Р~!

ҼȄӽ ҆퇑 xǀ ˷u帱q侾
ٵ順X, ĭX, ‘XX : ҼȄӽ =ǏŴٰ�頱ŇϽÁҿ
ٵ 灶, Ųĉ: ĉ Ÿ Ǐ頿؁��ȇρ��ʀ俼

Ƕ݀μBR

Listen Terence,

That not how it went down. At all. Get the story straight before you open your word hole.

yrs,
Zombie

___________________________________________________________

Hey Zombie,

I have trouble doing division. Like in the question 7 divide by 5. Do you have a brain to do it?

Sabeen

Hey Sabeen,

Do words “Texas Instruments” mean nothing to you? 7 divided by 5 is 1.4. You want Zombie should get all cosine up in here? Bring it.

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________

Zombie owes guy named Rob an apology. Sorry Rob.
As for the rest of you, you have problems what only Zombie can fix.
Write to ZombieAdvice(at)PopCap.com.

Before it is too late.

I have, as of late, grown increasingly bored. I’ve been making stuffed animals with felt but am fresh out of ideas! What do you think that I should make? Or should I just do something completely different, like draw or read or something?

What do you do when you’re bored? Or is eating brains such an entertaining occupation that you’re not concerned with how you spend your time?

Hoping for an answer,

Joy P.

P.S. Which do you hate more, pea shooters or cherry bombs?

Dear Joypi,

Maybe you wanna try making stuffed animals out of other things. Banana peels, small rocks, paper bags, French horns… that sort of thing. Don’t limit yourself. Why not draw and read and … something. Eel fighting, wolverine manicurist, floral dentistry… or, y’know, whatevs. Maybe just read a real boring book and then all that other stuff gonna seem exciting again.

Zombie not really have time to get bored. Besides, you would be surprised how many different ways people go “AAIIEEE!” when they see Zombie coming. It never get old.

yrs,
Zombie

P.S. They are both jerks.

____________________________________________________________

Dear Zombie,

I almost had my brains eaten, but I decided to show the zombie the closest people who had Undefended lawns, and they were happy. I decided to make peace with them by showing them other people’s brains. Anyway, you guys are mostly happy with me ever since I gave you brains and changed my cruel, plant friendly ways. I decided to eat plants for zombies so they didn’t have to eat them, and Those pea shooters can’t hurt me. Are my brains still at risk?

Hunter (of brains)

Dear Hunter,

Are your brains still at risk? In a word: totally. Nobody likes a suck-up.

yrs,
Zombie

____________________________________________________________

Hey! Speaking of suck-ups!

Dyr Zombie,

Zombi myght cal Vampire stupid, but do difrent brans typs tast beter than othyrs? Sometims king blood tastes beter than dyrty pesent blood. Dysgustyng!

Yrs,
Vampire

Dear Vampire,

How many times Zombie has to tell you? Do not bother Zombie at work! But since you and Zombie am here, Zombie have a question for you? Why Vampire such a snob? This is you, “Ooh, I am all fancy and not want to drink yucky poor peepul blood. What will the Dowager Countess say? Oh heavens, I seem to have come all over with the vapors! (faints)” You only eat one thing, dude. You cannot afford to get all choosy.

Now get back up your tree.

yrs,
Zombie

____________________________________________________________

Dear Zombie,
Hello, my name is Lynn and I am quite impressed that you know how to use the computer! Tell me, how did you learn to use the computer? Was it easy or hard with your brainless head? I’m not being rude or anything, but I’m curious and one more thing, I think you should eat meat. :p
Yours sincerely,
Lynn

Dear Lynn,

Zombie will decide who is being rude and who isn’t. Anyway, Zombie just take “How to Internet” course from Video Professor and rest is easy! HAHAHAHAH! Just kiddings. Zombie not fall for that. Anyway, Zombie got one of them Gateway jobbies. The box looks like a cow! It have everything a zombie need.

In spare time Zombie trying to build old-timey Difference Engine but all them Steampunk kids keep buying gears and junk to glue to their outfits.

Zombie should eat meat? What you thingk brains is?

yrs,
Zombie

____________________________________________________________

Dear Zombie,

Hungry, too, I reckon

Sloee1

Dear Somebody Who Is Clearly Trying to Avoid a Reading Assignment,

Zombie rest a while and go on. Zombie ain’t afeared of the dark.

Now get back to work. Huckleberry not going to read himself.

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________

Hey there, Zombie guy,
Swinging down the street so fancy free.
Nobody you meet could ever see
The loneliness there inside you.

Help Zombie help you.
Send your question to ZombieAdvice (at) PopCap.com

Do you have a Zombie family? Is it the same family you had before you became a Zombie or did you create a brand new family once you became a Zombie.

Thank you for your time.

Lauren

Dear Lalahalahalal,

Zombie just is. There was no “before” Zombie. This am who Zombie am, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Ramen. Sorry, Zombie forgot what Zombie was saying. Anywayz, Zombie part of what some might call “non-trad family.” Which is to say it just a bunch of zombies who kinda hang out sometimes but otherwise stay out of each other’s bizniss. So it superior to more regalur type family in many ways. Best part is Zombie not has to share a bathroom with other zombies so there are never any grody toothpaste blobs left in the sink.

yrs,
Zombie

____________________________________________________________

Hey, Zombie!

Do you watch the Annoying Orange?

Signed, Josh

Dear Josh,

Which one? Hahahahahah! Zombie make a funny. All oranges are annoying. For that matter all fruits are annoying. Ditto vegetables. Zombie think Josh know where Zombie going with this. Why would Zombie watch piece of fruit that go out of its way to be extra obnoxious? Regalur fruits doing it fine without him.

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________

dear zombie my friend says that u r stupid I dissagree can u halp me tell her that what do I say.

Lexi

Dear Lexi,

You can’t fight Philistines. Unless you are King David. Or the Assyrians. Or possibly Sargon the Great. If you are any of them guys you can probly lick Philistines pretty good. Otherwise you just gots to walk away. Or, better yet, stick your fingers in your ears and run away while shouting “NANANA I’M NOT LISTENING I’M NOT LISTENING NANANANANA!”

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________

Dear Zombie,

I’ve noticed Dr. Zomboss likes to write in cursive. Do you and the Dr. agree it is redicilous teachers are no longer even trying to teach kids cursive?

Sincerely,

Bejeweler

Dear Bejewjeler,

It almost as bad as not teaching kids proper spelling. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Zombie make another funny. See, because you spell ridicleous wrong. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Dang. Zombie forgot what Zombie was talking about again. It spring time and Zombie fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. Tra-la-la.

yrs,
Zombie

____________________________________________________________

Hi Zombie,

Did you have a good vacation? Where did you go? I didn’t get a postcard.

With love and respect,

Christine

Dear Christine,

Zombie went to that place that has that thing. You know the one? They do that thing there with the thing? Anyway, errybody really seem to like it. It was pretty good. Zombie had nice postcard for you but ate the stamp. Didn’t mean to but now stamps already have sticky junk on them and Zombie not know that so Zombie go to lick it and it stuck to tongue. It did not taste so bad. Anyway, Zombie still have postcard and will bring it when I come to your place on (checks datebook) July 12.

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________

And all Zombie wanted to say
And all Zombie gotta do
Who’d Zombie do this for
Hey, Zombie or you?

So send your questions already: ZombieAdvice(at)PopCap.com

Why do you eat the plants? They are cute.

Jamie

Dear Jamie,

Zombie eat plants because plants insist on getting in the way. Zombie not want to eat plants but Zombie is faced with a choice and has to make choice that is good for Zombie. So now Zombie have question for you. Why you eat cute things? Zombie assume you eat plants. Do you only eat ugly plants? Who is to say which plant is ugly? Somebody must think Brussels sprouts are adorbs. Is Jamie arbiter of plant comeliness? Does Jamie only eat meat? Is not meat cute before it is meat? Does Jamie know what Jamie is doing to insides by only eating meat? You has a lot to answer for Jamie. Don’t come at Zombie all demanding answers. Zombie not on trial here.

yrs,
Zombie

____________________________________________________________

Dear Zombie,

I’m looking to change jobs soon, and I was wondering: would zombie be a good career choice? What is your average work week? How good are your benefits? Is part-time work available?

Many thanks.
-Kendrick

Dear -Kendrick,

If -Kendrick not mind being on the move a lot, zombie is pretty good gig. Zombie is Zombie own boss. Zombie work when Zombie wanna work. Zombie get to wear this smart tie alla time. Not have time for a lotta relashunships but Zombie got used to that since errybody mostly just run and scream when Zombie come up driveway. Pay is mostly just whatever deelishuz brains you can find, but Zombie not got a lotta needs so it works out pretty good. Zombie gonna come over and sign you up eventually anyway so why waste any more time? How is next Friday for you?

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________

Dear Zombie,

I’ve got to write a 3000 word essay about Zombies in pop culture for University. Have you got any ideas for points I could make or any advice for me?

Sincerely,
Quinn (20½ years old)

Dear Quinn,

Zombie love eggheads! So yummy… Anyway, Zombie recommend starting with strong opening paragraph about influence of zombies across multiple genres. Include snooty references to comic books but call them ‘graphic fiction’, promise to compare the combined influences of George and Cesar Romero, and make sure to use a lotta words like “dichotomy” and “paradigm”. Then rewrite opening paragraph and use it to explain all the great stuff you just did in the essay. Stick that on the last page. Then, and this is the important part, go photocopy a bunch of pages out of some book at the liberry and shove them all in between the two paragraphs. Dirty secret of college – oh, excuse me “University” – is that you do all that work and nobody pay attention. Adjunk professor too busy to read 3,000 words and tenured professor is having drinks with the department chair and is just going to make TA grade your paper. Buy TA dinner and tell him your essay is subversive act designed to point out inequalities in University system. Instant A.

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________

Dear Zombie,

if a zombie bites a human he becomes a zombie but what if a vampire bites a zombie and then the zombie bites human? does he become a zombie or a vampire….. or a zom-pire?

Sincerely,

Cameron

Dear Cameron,

If a vampire bites a zombie the vampire gets a rap in the snotlocker. Then the zombie bites the human and all is right in the world. Vampires know better by now.

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________
Confidential to “Madison”

Chaucer! Rabelais! Balzac!

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________

Zombie is on vacation. But he’ll be back before you know it and he’ll want more questions to answer. If he doesn’t have more questions to answer he’s going to pout for days. Please don’t make us have to deal with a sad Zombie. Nothing is sadder than a sad Zombie.
Write to: ZombieAdvice(at)PopCap.com.

But we chose our favorites from the outliers, and they are pretty great. I love the nods to the character himself and the game he comes from. You Hidden Agenda players are some clever folks, and I enjoyed reading through your captions. So here are the top four, for your consideration.

So, you may have heard rumors about a Bejeweled board game. You may have even seen it on store shelves. And you may have asked yourself, while staring at the box, “Wait, what? Why would I want a board game version of a game I have on oh so many of my digital devices?”

Today we are here to answer that question. Or rather, to let you watch the answer. Because what we have here, in an exclusive world premiere, is video footage of a few of us at PopCap actually playing the board game. Watch in amazement as real-life PopCap employees play this game in front of your very eyes, thanks to the magic of “video cameras”  and “the Internet!” No trick photography! All stunts performed by the actors themselves! No animals harmed too badly!

So, yes, the Bejeweled board game, brought to you by our good friends at Hasbro, is a fun, “offline” version of the game, and once you watch this video, you’ll see why! So watch already! Go on! Hit play! If you’re on this blog we already know you have some time to kill!

I want to know how are you alive because you are dead and you live off of brains? I am sorry to tell you but you are jacked up and do not write a “smart” response cause you are supposed to have a brain to make SMART comment right?

from
???? (you will never find out who i am cause u stupid)ha ha

Dear Zoe,

You know how when you make a email address and you has to put your name in there? Yeah, Zombie can totally see that. Do you own that glass house or just rent?

yrs,
Zombie

____________________________________________________________

Dear Zombie,

Do you have meeting before you attack house, or do you barge right in?

From,
John

Dear John,

Zombie not have time for Robert’s Rules of Order, if that what you mean. Zombie not trying to be rude but when there is job to be done, Zombie not have time to get all hung up on yur bourgeois notions of politeness. Zombies understand the mission: get in, get brains, get out. Somebody try to get you to jump through a lotta hoops just some guy trying to hide the fact that he not have enough to do at work. Don’t waste a lotta time on that guy.

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________

Dear Zombie,

I have got 8 questions to you at once.

The first is: Why are you communicating with us using notes? Can’t send some kind of a diplomatic Zombie?
The second is: What’s all the grammatical mistakes for?
The third is: There are so many kinds of Zombies. For what?
The fourth is: How do you get all those Yeti Zombies?
The 5th is: How did it happened that firstly you try to eat our brains, and then you say that the only thing you need is to make a music video, and then this pattern loops?
The 6th is: As I understand, you eat our brains. We then become Zombies. We eat other brains. AND, what happens when all of us are Zombies, and there are no brains left?
The 7th is: How to protect my brains from you?
And the final question is: I assume you have a little amount of brains left. DID IT EXPLODED AFTER READING AND ANSWERING MY QUESTIONS?

Sincerely yours,
Danya

Dear Danya,

Pardon if Zombie answer thems one at a time.

1. Zombie not have time for diplomacy. Especially since in Zombie experience, peepul “diplomacy” usually take form of running and screaming and trying to hit Zombie with a brick.
2. Tee hee. Zombie see what you did there.
3. Zombie also not have time for your philomosophical conundra. Every snowflake is unique and precious, etc.
4. They just showed up one day so we figured, why not let ‘em stay? Besides, nobody brave enuf to aks them to leave.
5. From the day we arrive on the planet and, blinking, step into the sun, there’s more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than can ever be done. There’s far too much to take in here. More to find than can ever be found. But the sun rolling high through the sapphire sky keeps great and small on the endless round. It’s the circle of life and it moves us all through despair and hope, through faith and love ’til we find our place on the path unwinding in the circle… the circle of life.
6. That will never happen so Zombie not going to worry about it. Also, global warming is a myth and the moon landing was faked.
7. This one is conflict of Zombie interest. So Zombie just going to say “you cannot.” See you soon.
8. Hang on, Zombie will check (hmm hmm hmm doody doody doo…). Nope. Zombie all good.

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________

Hey Zombie,

My cubicle neighbor reads your Blog daily. He loves it. Here’s the thing; he has bad gas and those of us who sit around him are his daily victims. I know he will read this so please help with any advice for his bad flatulence.

Thanks in advance,
Big fan of Plants vs. Zombies

Dear Biggie,

You gonna be a big baby? Why you gotta rain on this cat’s parade? Maybe problem is your attitude. Why not find out what he eats for lunch and join the party ‘stead of being all judgy? Why he gotta bend to your will? Zombie say load up on whatever neighbor guy is putting in his body and go to town! Sure Zombie not have a lotta olfactory receptors left so Zombie not share your problem exackly but, jeezy creezy, live a little.

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________

Dear Zombies,

We at Zombie Airplane Insurance give you guys one last offer. If you consider insuring yourselves, then we will give you 13 brains a day for free!!!

Please kindly oblige.

Faithfully,

The ZAI Guys

PS. contact us at zombieairplaneinsurance@spammer’sparadise.com. We won’t spam you.

Dear Lying Liars,

Zombie not really have anything to say except that it nice to know somebody reading Zombie column all the way to the end.

yrs,
Zombie
____________________________________________________________

Questions? Problems? Not sure what to have for lunch?
Zombie answers all questions. Okay, maybe most questions.
Seriously, if you can’t figure out your own lunch maybe your problems start deeper than we first thought.
Anyway, take a chance. Zombie just wants to help.

Mark B. – Studio Artist, Plants vs. Zombies

I had a total blast but oh my gosh did it wipe me out. Between what seemed like hundreds of boxes of swag to get out, running the “Test Your Strength” machine, keeping the booth tidy, and trying to contain Wall-nut hat mania, it was hard to find time just to get a bite to eat. Saturday afternoon, in the chaos, my lunch order didn’t come through. It was 2 or 2:30, and I was STARVING! Jeff saw the situation and came over, “Hey man, you can have half my sandwich.” Then, Philip came in and shared his lunch as well. I had a lot of fun being on panels, seeing all the amazing cos-players, and mingling with people who love PopCap games. But a small act of kindness when you need it the most, it stays with you. Thanks for having my back guys. It was awesome to have the opportunity to be at PAX East with ya.

Dana S. – Customer Service Content Manager

First of all, I sustained some major hits on this trip. I came back with a touch of con crud, and I got so dehydrated throughout the weekend that my hands cracked and bled, and then my nose started bleeding as well. On the way back to Seattle, I broke a tooth on airport food, and when I picked up my suitcase at baggage claim, it looked like this:

American Airlines customer support is awesome though, so I got a new bag. However, my Batman belt was lost along the way. Circle of life.

So, all that said, it really says something that I am so completely happy with my PAX East experience! I loved every minute of it (in retrospect, I guess — I mean, in the moment, I do remember never wanting to hear that hammer strike/bell ding sound combination again). I made some awesome new friends, saw a couple of cool panels, brought home a pile of card games to start playing, and best of all, hung out with the coolest group of friends I could have hoped for.

I also especially dug getting to talk to Peggle fans, as ever. Between the Peggle Master plushies we were giving out and the free Peggle download offer, that game was on everyone’s mind, and I love that. Extreme Fever forever!

Tara T. – Community Manager, Core Franchise

Couldn’t agree more with Mark. You were all so fun, amazing, and wonderful to work with. Even in the frustrating, starving, tired moments.

My favorite memories of the booth were the kiddos for sure. Each lil’ smile just from a simple plushy was worth every effort! The magic show was a highlight for me too. He brought a nice crowd and was super engaging. The strong man never-ending line was the biggest surprise for me. The popularity of that activity was crazy cool! The worst part of the whole event were the greedy folks who took 10 of everything without thinking twice. Seeing the inflation on ebay today is just slightly annoying. I’m still exhausted and sore, but all in all I can’t wait for the next event and can only hope we have a group as great as this one was! Thanks so much, everyone!

The gang's mostly all here!

Philip S. (hey, that’s me!) – Copywriter

Quick impressions: super noisy and I can’t believe how popular our decidedly analog High Striker hammer game was. Beyond that, I didn’t get out of our own booth too much (except to escort our zombie to and from his Kissing Booth) so I missed most of what I’m sure was a lot of great stuff on the floor. But what I took away from the whole event was that there are tons of great people in this business. From the groovy cats on my own team who worked hard and stayed loose the whole weekend, to the thousands of fans who stopped by to grab some swag or just to say ‘hey’ and ‘thanks,’ plus the two indie developers I ran into repeatedly in the break room (what up Ackk Studios and ClutchPlay Games?), and the dynamite crew of Enforcers including our most-awesome “XA” (Exhibitor Assistant) Laura, who was traffic cop, civil engineer, valet and den mother, and who we all agreed should come home with us. I spend a lot of time online where some days it seems like endless negativity. It was great to be face-to-face with so many fans and colleagues and to see how much passion and enthusiasm still exists in our industry. Oh, and the back-room swag deals with other developers was fun and sort of hilarious.

We killed it good.

Stephanie B. – Community Manager, Plants vs. Zombies

This was sent to me via the PvZ page yesterday:

Dear PopCap,

I just wanted to thank you for being the coolest booth at PAX East. I visited your booth often over the weekend but I had the best experience on Friday. I noticed people lining up to ring a bell with a mallet; I’m not sure if that game has an actual name. I’ve personally never tried those types of games before due to not having a lot of upper body strength. I normally wouldn’t attempt hitting anything with a mallet but I saw you were giving out Disco Zombie Figures and I knew I had to have one. I saw many girls fail to push their upper body strength to hit the bell and they were walking away with an energy drink. I really didn’t want an energy drink so I knew I had to give it my all for the figure! After waiting in line I got up to the green mat… and failed miserably. After three attempts I handed in my mallet. It was sad; I was sad. The guy said “Nice try” and I sighed. I was almost angry because I felt this game was really unfair for the average girl unless she had the extra muscle or had a hulky boyfriend. I didn’t have either of those things. However, after I walked away one of the the PopCap guys ran after me to give me a figure. I thanked him and I was really happy, even though I was still sad on the outside. So please thank whoever was giving out the prizes that Friday afternoon for running after the girl who was incredibly unhappy she failed at ringing the bell.     –Jennifer

Everyone did such a fantastic job. Seriously. Awesome. I heart all of you for the hard work at the event and PAX always reminds me of why I love my job and our fans. You all should feel super proud you pulled off a fantastic show! Everyone loved our booth and my favorite part was all of us working together and becoming better friends because of it.

Jeff G. – Nobody Really Knows What He Does Around Here

Other than our own booth, which we are contractually obliged to say was the best thing ever, I had a few other favorite moments at PAX East, including: Learning how to play Cards Against Humanity, being relieved that my daughter wasn’t with me while playing, attending the always hilarious Giant Bomb panel, and not breathing one molecule of clean air for three days. No, wait. That last one was awful. But overall the show was awesome, as it always is! By far my favorite gaming show, every time. And hanging out with PopCap friends outside of the office? Priceless.

“Phew!”

Okay maybe I should say a few more words, or this will be a very short blog post. The next thing we should say, most assuredly, is “thank you” to all those who attended and stopped by our booth. PopCap has been going to the PAX conventions in Seattle and Boston for the past few years, and we always have an amazing time. But this past weekend in Boston was probably the best of them all so far, as we were crushed by enthusiastic fans all weekend long, to the point where the only thing greater than our utter exhaustion was the immense feeling of gratitude we had for the response we received. So, again: Thank you!

This year was particularly stressful as far as working at a game company goes – because the booth that we had planned, around a certain unreleased game, completely fell through in the last few weeks leading up to the show. So the booth that those in Boston saw this weekend is what we might refer to as a  Hail Mary, or final act of desperation. Basically, a few of us sat in a conference room,  with flies swirling around our heads,  as we attempted to come up with a booth concept at the last minute. Someone – I don’t remember who – said, “Hey, how about a carnival?” And with lack of a better second idea, that’s what we went with.

But, hey — who doesn’t love a carnival?  With a Kiss the Zombie booth, a magician, a High Striker game, a Not-A-Lemonade Stand (loaded with free PopCap swag), and the Incredible Swag Machine itself, which dispensed our ever-popular Wall-nut caps every couple hours, we inadvertently created a three-day mob scene. Give people free entertainment and free gifts, and they’ll be happy! Who knew?

Honestly, as much fun as it is working at a game company most of the time, it really is just another office job, with all the stress, workloads, politics, compromises, and boring meetings as every other office job. So it’s easy for us to lose sight of the bigger picture. What shows like PAX East do is remind us of that bigger picture. Which is you. Spending three days with tens of thousands of happy, enthusiastic gamers, fans, and nerds of all ages, nationalities, body types, and planetary affiliations brings it back home to us just how much fun all of this is supposed to be, and how making people happy is really all we’re in it for.

We may have given you free stuff, for which you are more than welcome, but, in our eyes, you gave us the bigger gift: You showed us just how awesome it is to for us to do what we get to do. Some of you also reminded us of the importance of practicing proper hygiene, but that’s a blog post for another day.

And if you somehow didn’t make it to PAX East, you still have a chance to get the virtual goodies we were handing out at the show, including a free copy of Peggle, right here:  http://www.popcap.com/promos/pax-east-2013

Enjoy, and we’ll see you at PAX Prime in the fall! Yay!