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Category Archives: Zombie Advice
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Ask a Zombie: “You Aren’t Doing Any Work Today Anyway” Edition.
Dear Zombie, How is it that zombies are smart enough to break into any building but not smart enough to use the door knob? Aaron Dear Aaron, Zombie sad to hear you not appreciate Zombie’s flare for the dramatic. Door …
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Ask a Zombie… DO IT!
Dear Zombie, How are you going to kill us all if 2012 comes first? Nobody will be threatened or scared of zombies anymore. Your Fan, That Guy That’s Not Afraid Of Zombies Anymore Dear That Guy, Zombie think mabey you …
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Ask a Zombie
Dear Zombie, I have three children. I’ve taught them all I know, and still, they know nothing. Will they survive the coming Zombie Apocalypse? Concerned Mom Dear Mom, Do not sell yourself short. Sounds like student is now master. But …
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Ask a Zombie
Dear Zombie, I just erased a chain-mail about a girl in Australia being eaten by a zombie because she didn’t send the mail to other people, and now I’m scared. My question is, do you really track those mails to …
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Ask a Zombie: ‘Advice to the Lovelorn’ Edition
Dear Zombie, I have this strange guy-friend who once said to me that he’d rather date a zombie than me. Then, last week, he asked me out for some random reason, and I said yes. Then we got into a fight, …
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Ask a Zombie
Dear Zawmbee, I love a girl that loves me. Half a year ago we dated for a week. We ended up when I find out she was cheating me the whole time. I broke up with her, she moved to …
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Ask a Zombie
Zombie, What is your best advice on how to win a spelling bee? Best regards, Robert the Soft Toy Hamster Dear Hamster, First thing to winning a spellling bee is to maybe not be a hamster. Zombie just spit-balling here. …
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Ask a Zombie
Dear Zombie, My best friend is usually pretty cool but whenever I try to talk to a girl I like he comes around and is totally obnoxious and scares the girl away. How can I make him stop? Signed, Stuck …
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Ask a Zombie
Dear Zombie, Which should I buy first: a cob cannon or a winter melon? I will not attack you unless it is necessary. Signed, Luke Dear Everybody, Zombie getting lot of questions like this. “What is best way to kill zombies?” …
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Ask a Zombie
Dear Zombie, I like to play on the computer, but I get bored easily. What else can I do over the summer? – Bored Brain Dear Bored, Zombie love summer. Long days are perfect for aimless shuffling around town …
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