Author Archives: Zombie

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    Ask a Zombie: “That Jackpot Question” Edition

    Hey Zombie, You make any New Year resolutions? Sincerely, Sue Denim Dear Fake Name, Zombie not make any New Year resomolutions. Here is why. On last day of old year, Zombie step in dog doo. Then on first day of …
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    Ask a Zombie: “In the Bleak Midwinter” Edition

    Zombie got a bunch of holiday-type questions so that’s what this one is all about. ________________________________________________________ Dear Mr. Zombie, I am hosting the family holiday gathering this year, and I have a bit of a problem. Among the guests will …
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    Ask a Zombie: “King of the Franks” Edition

    Dear Zombie, OK here’s the problem I’m dating one of my exes again and things are going great except that my friends and mother basically hate him. This may be partially my fault because I did talk badly of him …
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    Ask a Zombie: “We Attack the Fort” Edition

    dear Zombie, i really have nothing to do during the day and i get bored i wanted to know what could i do to keep me active i already play P vs Z so don’t suggest yours boringly Joshua Dear …
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    Ask a Zombie: “In the Shadow of John Tyler” Edition

    Zombie: Have you ever considered running for president? You would win on the undead votes by a landslide. –Mystic Dear Mystic, That sounds like a great idea! Zombie would be tip-top leader. Zombie have lots of ideas how to improve …
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    Ask a Zombie: “Rainy Days and Mondays” Edition

    Dearest Zombie, My history class is SUPER boring and even my teacher agrees with that. I was thinking you could come and teach instead, but I know you are a busy guy, hunting for brains, dealing with plants, and keeping …
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    Ask a Zombie: “How Many Licks Does It Take?” Edition

    Dear Zombie, Do you think I should wait for that one particular college that I want to attend if they’re full or try applying for another one? -kerranika Dear kerranikanikanikkerranikanikanikkerranikanikanik, By all means, put all eggs in one basket. That …
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    Ask a Zombie: “20% Handsomer than Before” Edition

    Dear Mr. Zombie, I’m going to college soon, but I’m a bit nervous about EVERYTHING. Do you have any advice? Love to hear from you soon! -Anthony Dear Anthony, Zombie not sure Zombie went to college but thinks everyone can …
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    Ask a Zombie: “The Ol’ Community College Try” Edition

    Dear Zombie, I need help on my homework. What is the conversion of 480 cm= Tinzo B. Dear Tinzo, Zombie not from Canada and Zombie also not “Jeeves” but will give this one a shot. Though it might help Zombie …
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    Ask a Zombie: “Back to School” Edition

    Dear Zombie, Why every time I watch a movie there’s always a zombie clown? I hate clowns. Is there something much more creepier than a clown? Always smiling… when nothing it’s funny. Ninochka Dear Ninochka, EVERY time you watch a …
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