Ask a Zombie: “Please Make Sure Your Seatbacks Are in Their Full Upright Position” Edition


Zombie had one too many brains last night so is not feeling his best. But that won’t stop him from stepping up and answering all your hard questions. Keep ‘em coming! ZombieAdvice@PopCap.com.

Dear Zombie

Do you like or not like how the general public views zombies through books and movies? If you don’t, do you try to disprove that view? If you do, do you represent that view? I would just like to know from you, because you’re cool.

From,

Mr. Anonanon

Dear Anonanon (dee dee dee-dee-dee) Anonanon (dee dee-dee-dee) Anonanon (dee dee dee-dee-dee dee-dee-dee dee-dee-dee dee-dee-dee deedeedeedee dee dee deeeee dee),

What you alive types think of zombies is not any of Zombie concern. Zombie not spend a lot of time worrying about how Walking Dead make all zombies look like extras from FM radio station Halloween haunted house. Zombie not go to movies and worry about Bradd Pitttt coming to save all humans frfom zombie (like he gonna stop brushing his luxurious hair long enough to do that). Zombie not going to get into all them arguments about do zombies run fast or slow or can fall in love with alive person (ew.) or be un-zombied. Zombie not even need peeps to tell Zombie what Zombie is cool. Zombie know that (but take the compliment anyways, TYVM). Peepul gonna do whatevs and Zombie too busy looking after Zombie (and looking out for dumb plants) to worry too much what some book guy thinks.

yrs,

Zombie

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Dear Zombie

Parishioners are so nice that they kill other zombies to keep them from eating there owner’s brains. How can you hurt/eat those kind hearted preschoolers zombie.

From

snorp08

Hey Snorp,

Either you got auto-corrected bad when you was trying to write “peashooters” or you gots crazy wrong idea about Zombie or you totes wrote to wrong place. Zombie got a headache trying to figure this one out. Zombie going to assume you talking about them ugly green plantz and not churchy peepul or little kids and answer ye thusly: Zombie want to live, Peashooter want Zombie to not live. And the battle is joined. Forever and ever, ramen.

What? Sometime Zombie like ramen.

yrs,

Zombie

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Dear Mr zombie, I ask you this: why the insistence of eating brains?

What flavour do that they like it so much?

And that team football soccer zombie Lord does it?

Atte. Darth Leo

Dear Lippy,

Zombie need brain to get by. High in protein and iron and other good brain meats what help Zombie play.

They just brain flavor. Why that not good enough for peepul? Zombie gots pretty refined palate. Not always have palate, but what is there is refined.

Zombie trying to answer your third question but am sitting on airplane in front of kid what is coughing non-stop but not covering her mouth so Zombie distracted by possibility of catching little kid cooties and also the vest-lady standing in the back smashing a bag of ice on the floor over and over so Zombie now looking for peasant lady carrying a chicken in a burlap sack to complete the flying experience.

yrs,

Zombie

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Dear Zombie,

If zombies eat other people’s brains, and the brain is how a zombie comes to life, how are zombies still zombies? I have been so confused on that.

Sincerely,
Wolf Of The Shadows

Dear Wothesha,

You thinking about it too hard. You thinking about it at all which is automatically thinking about it too hard. Zombies not come to life by eating brains. Zombie just is. It not like Zombie lying on ground going “Oh, if only brain would fall into my mouth so I could eat it and be a real boy.” Promise Zombie that not how you think it go down. Cuz that just crazy in the pants.

yrs,

Zombie

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Dear Zombie if you had a zombie pet like  zombie dog zombie cat zombie rabbit and many more  and what would you name it and why would you want it  ps. Do zombies fight each other for some brains or hall share them From Ghostwolf1468

Dear Ghostwolf1468 if Zombie had a zombie pet like zombie dog zombie cat zombie rabbit Zombie probably name them George Theodoric and Mr. Snugglebuns and if had a fish would probably name it Glenn and yes Zombie would want them because why you get a pet if you not want it ps. Zombie get as many brains as Zombie can get and not throw a fit there am no sharing as Zombie believe every Zombie must fend for Zombieself yrs,Zombie

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Dear Zombie,

I was writing because I have questions about you and your amazing race and I was hoping you could answer them.

1) Did you become a zombie through a voodoo curse, some random supernatural activity,  radiation, or a plague?

2)  Can any zombie become a gargantuar, and if so would you want to be one?

3)  Have you ever met your leader Dr. Zomboss, and if so what do you think of him?

4)  What do you think of your prime obstical, Crazy Dave, in your quest for brains?

Sincerely,

Crazy Dave’s third cousin once removed

Dear Removed,

Man, Zombie love Amazing Race. Did you see that one where the guy had to eat a whole ostrich egg? That was grody. Zombie not sure how they get them peepul to do all that stuff. Who comes up with them challenges anyway? Zombie want that job.

yrs,
Zombie

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Okay, Zombie is going to go lie down for a while. But when he wakes up he’ll be ready to answer more of your awesome questions. ZombieAdvice@PopCap.com.


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