Pizza is the ultimate equalizer in life. Put any random group of people together, and no matter how much they disagree about everything else, the one thing they are likely to come together over is pizza. No one doesn’t like pizza, except for maybe morons and vegans, and those two groups usually overlap anyway. (Just kidding. Some of my best friends are morons.) This US government shutdown probably could have been solved a week ago if someone in Congress had just picked up the phone and ordered in a bunch of pizzas. Two slices in, and none of them would have even remembered what they were bickering about.
So you’d be hard pressed to find a game more enticing sounding than Pizza Frenzy, released by PopCap in 2005 (and still available for PC download right here)! It doesn’t just promise a game about pizza, it promises a frenzy of pizza. That’s an automatic 90 on Metacritic right there, no matter how good the game turns out to be. Fortunately, it is actually pretty good, at least according to our completely unbiased and objective opinion here on the PopCap blog.
First, to get the negative out of the way, note that this is not actually a game about eating pizza. So, that might be a buzzkiller right there, though let us note that even if it were a game about eating pizza, it would only be digital pizza anyway, not real pizza, so it’s not like you were actually going to get to taste the stuff. In fact, it might only make the real-world craving worse, if you were forced to watch your digital self eat pizza. My recommendation: Eat a whole bunch of pizza either before or while playing to save yourself the negativity. And don’t worry about getting pizza grease on your keyboard — it just adds to the immersion!
Anyway, maybe you want to know what this game actually is about. Fair enough. What it is about is making and delivering pizzas. You know all those time management games like “Cooking Mama,” where you’re racing around trying to fill all the orders and keep everybody happy? This is one of those. Though because ours is about pizza it’s automatically ten times better at least. So basically you have an overhead map of a neighborhood, and people call in and order pizzas. You have to click on their order, then click on the pizza place (and there will be different stores for different toppings, which is a pretty inefficient business model when you think about it), and do it in a timely manner without mixing up orders. As usual with our games, it starts out bone simple and then gets super frenzied (see title!) as it progresses. In between delivering pizzas, you’ll also get to make some, which is pretty fun except for the aforementioned problem of it not being real life. The satisfaction in the game comes from learning how to do it all in a smart, strategic way, and figuring out how to balance the tradeoffs between speed and accuracy. Also, you get the vicarious thrill of being a pizza delivery guy, which, as many movies have proven, is often a great way to meet new and interesting people.
In short, Pizza Frenzy is an outstanding little game for fans of pizza, pizza makers, or pizza delivery people. If you are a fan of none of that, then perhaps it’s time for you to re-examine your choices in life. Seriously. It’s hot bread and cheese with stuff on top. What’s not to like? Go ahead and download Pizza Frenzy right now and stop being so difficult. Sheesh.