Back in February, we gathered together to celebrate the very special occasion of Wear Underpants Outside Your Pants Day. That was your chance to be like Superman, donning an eye-catching layer of high-contrast fabric to spiff up your supersuit. Now that I think of it, what better way to obfuscate your appearance than to distract viewers from looking at your face by confusing them with your overall wardrobe choices? They’re so busy wondering whether your cape gets stuck in revolving doors, how will they have time to study your cheekbones? But I digress.
June 27th, according to the Plants vs. Zombies 2013 calendar, is Wear Fake Glasses Day. That means today, don’t be Superman. Be Clark Kent.
Put on a pair of glasses and disappear into obscurity for a day. Marvel at how even your nearest and dearest wander right past you while calling your name. Ask your best girl out and have a private laugh at how she demurs on the grounds of already having a boyfriend. Years from now, when you tell her about this, you’ll both look back and smile.