Ode to Fathers

In celebration of Father’s Day, we asked a few old friends to wax nostalgic about the men who made them who they are. And then this is what happened.

Crazy Dave:

My old man was great! He invented the necktie-sandwich press and the battery-powered battery – it never runs out of energy! I don’t know what I did with the blueprints for that one. I should find ‘em though, I could make, like, 50 bucks.



Zombie raised by Docotr Zomboss. He not biomological dad but he always made sure we had plenty of brains and gave me this swell coat. No pants, though but Zombie not complaining. He not very cuddly, but that okay because his skin is like a lizard’s. Still give Zombie the wibblies. Anyway, he always gave us rides in his giant Zombot. Sometimes he fergot to pick us up, though. Maybe that why zombies so good at shambling.



Being a mythological creature, it’s hard to really communicate the concept of “father” as I understand it. So, please accept this short poem that captures my thoughts on the matter.


They come in many shapes and sizes.
Some are bums and some are prizes.
But it don’t matter what you say,
Sunday is still Father’s Day.



Well, I can’t acknowledge my father without also giving a shout out to my mother. Mostly because I am not sure who was who.

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