The Wall-nut Has Deep Deep Depths


Once, a long time ago, I was walking around one of the seedier parts of town. I’d had a bad day, and just went walking, not sure where I’d end up. I think it was near the docks. But I was walking, then all of a sudden looked up, realized where I was, and sorta freaked out. So I ducked into this dive bar called, seriously, The Dive Bar, to call a cab to take me far away and out of there. I didn’t want to seem, oh, out of place though, so while waiting I sidled up to the bar and ordered a ginger-beer and milk, trying to look tough. The two guys standing next to me didn’t even glance my way, cause they were having a serious, heads-bent-down, conversation. They looked like the types that would as happily sock you as say hello, lots of un-manicured stubble and a smell like fish and sweat. But focused in only on their conversation – heck, I don’t think they noticed me, cause they kept talking, and I caught a little of their conversation. The first one was saying, “I know it sounds unbelievable, but it’s true” while the second one nodded his head in disbelief. “What they say is that if you look into the Wall-nut’s eyes and repeat Wall-nut three times, well, then you’re going to get hit in the head with a walnut.” I didn’t believe them – Wall-nut is so cute. And smiley. But then, later, when I was far away from that place, I wasn’t so sure. So I tried it:

Wall-nut

Wall-nut

Wall-nut!

And I’ve had the nickname “Patch” ever since.


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