Ask a Zombie: “How Much Nezzar Could a Nebuchadnezzar?” Edition


Dear Zombie,

Do you have a Zombie family? Is it the same family you had before you became a Zombie or did you create a brand new family once you became a Zombie.

Thank you for your time.

Lauren

Dear Lalahalahalal,

Zombie just is. There was no “before” Zombie. This am who Zombie am, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Ramen. Sorry, Zombie forgot what Zombie was saying. Anywayz, Zombie part of what some might call “non-trad family.” Which is to say it just a bunch of zombies who kinda hang out sometimes but otherwise stay out of each other’s bizniss. So it superior to more regalur type family in many ways. Best part is Zombie not has to share a bathroom with other zombies so there are never any grody toothpaste blobs left in the sink.

yrs,
Zombie


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Hey, Zombie!

Do you watch the Annoying Orange?

Signed, Josh

Dear Josh,

Which one? Hahahahahah! Zombie make a funny. All oranges are annoying. For that matter all fruits are annoying. Ditto vegetables. Zombie think Josh know where Zombie going with this. Why would Zombie watch piece of fruit that go out of its way to be extra obnoxious? Regalur fruits doing it fine without him.

yrs,
Zombie
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dear zombie my friend says that u r stupid I dissagree can u halp me tell her that what do I say.

Lexi

Dear Lexi,

You can’t fight Philistines. Unless you are King David. Or the Assyrians. Or possibly Sargon the Great. If you are any of them guys you can probly lick Philistines pretty good. Otherwise you just gots to walk away. Or, better yet, stick your fingers in your ears and run away while shouting “NANANA I’M NOT LISTENING I’M NOT LISTENING NANANANANA!”

yrs,
Zombie
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Dear Zombie,

I’ve noticed Dr. Zomboss likes to write in cursive. Do you and the Dr. agree it is redicilous teachers are no longer even trying to teach kids cursive?

Sincerely,

Bejeweler

Dear Bejewjeler,

It almost as bad as not teaching kids proper spelling. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Zombie make another funny. See, because you spell ridicleous wrong. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Dang. Zombie forgot what Zombie was talking about again. It spring time and Zombie fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. Tra-la-la.

yrs,
Zombie

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Hi Zombie,

Did you have a good vacation? Where did you go? I didn’t get a postcard. :(

With love and respect,

Christine

Dear Christine,

Zombie went to that place that has that thing. You know the one? They do that thing there with the thing? Anyway, errybody really seem to like it. It was pretty good. Zombie had nice postcard for you but ate the stamp. Didn’t mean to but now stamps already have sticky junk on them and Zombie not know that so Zombie go to lick it and it stuck to tongue. It did not taste so bad. Anyway, Zombie still have postcard and will bring it when I come to your place on (checks datebook) July 12.

yrs,
Zombie
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And all Zombie wanted to say
And all Zombie gotta do
Who’d Zombie do this for
Hey, Zombie or you?

So send your questions already: ZombieAdvice(at)PopCap.com


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