A few weeks ago we offered up a list of some rejected game titles. Today, I’d like to submit a different list: the titles of some of our favorite rejected games.
Okay: so, maybe none of these are real. Who am I to judge the existence of something? All I can say is: we liked these (fake?) game ideas so much that we felt it our responsibility to share them with the world.
*Please don’t steal. Or, if you do, steal well. Actually… you can have Kraken Derby… none of us are huge fans of that one.
And now, the list, with a few explanations.
No Soup For Ewe! – Help Huey the Ewe fill his bowl with soup — before the mean old fox finds Huey!
Borscht Bolt – What’s this game about? Beets me!
Monetizaur – People who like dinosaurs that make money will love Monetizaur!
Fear Factor Bejeweled – Face your biggest fears and match gems at the same time!
Rockette Mania – Match Rockette dancers in rows to create a line of leg-kicking crazies.
Sock Puppet Cage Match – You have no idea how much I love this. And you can too!
Interrupting Cow Part II — Electric BoogaMoo (This needs no explanation.)
Mystery P.I. – Buckingham Malice (We always knew something was odd about that place.)
Elephant Tied Us – Can you escape the wrath of the crazy, knitting elephant?
First, Person-Shooter – This is all about the punctuation. Those who have ears to hear…
Millinery Mania – I have no idea what this is.
Frittata Frenzy – Italian omelets… they’re everywhere, and they’re fast. Can you cook enough to fill Guiseppe’s gondola?
Monkey Smuggler – Save the monkeys! Sneak them out of the zoo and get them back to the wild, and battle angry zookeepers and the hungry Lion Droid!
Mars Rover: Dogs in Space – Also called “Mutts on Mars,” this educational video game rolled over and played dead just before launch.
Highwire Octopus – Lead the octopus over a series of terrifying challenges. It’s tentacular!
Designer Gene Pool Party – There’s something in the water… and it’s fantastic! Design your perfect you and then mingle with other perfect people in this hit Facebook game. We put the “social” in social Darwinism!
Kraken Derby – Go fast and win big in this stylish new racing game. Choose your favorite tiny car, gear up your kraken, and race against the Shriners!
Cheeses vs. Vampires – Take on nocturnal invaders by fighting back with cheddar, swiss, and of course, garlic cheese! It’s a gouda time for the whole family. (Sorry.)
Jaspartu: The World’s Clumsiest Monster – Jaspartu is stumbling around town, destroying everything within falling distance. Only you — a small English boy named Alastair — can control him. Can you trip him up before he accidentally smashes you?
Raccoon Hunter/Raccoon’s Revenge – We were going to ditch conventional thinking and release the original and the sequel at the same time. Because everybody loves either raccoons or their hunters!
Marcel Battle: Proust vs. Marceau – For all the French literature/film lovers out there, now’s your chance to decide who the best Marcel is… shoot straw men and red herring at your enemies — but don’t let your pinkie finger touch your glass!
High Altitude Bakery – The time-management game of the year — can you figure out how to bake perfect baguettes on Mount Everest before it’s too late?
Dictator Tots – Tater tots have taken over the world — and are holding most of the world’s corn supply hostage! Join Kernel Moustard in a battle of good vs. evil!
Bounce House of Horrors – Bounce your way through an overflowing dreamland full of teddy bears with teeth and Dracula in a nightgown. Nightmares have never been this fun!
That’s about it… for now. Maybe we’ll share more in the future. If you’re good.