Ask a Zombie: The “Increasingly Inscrutable” Edition


Dear Zombie,

Which Zombie movie portrays Zombies in the best light? And which one do you enjoy the most?

Signed
Wondering

Dear Wondering,

Anything with Steve Buscemi. He is the zombie all zombies want to be. Classy and he look good in a suit.

yrs,
Zombie

PS: Zombie editor now say Steve Buscemi not actually a zombie, but this zombie not buying it.


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Dear Zombie,

I’m a zombie on the go. I don’t always have time to go home and have nice healthy brains for dinner. Sometimes I have to have brains on the run. Do you have any advice on where to find good brains, that won’t take too long to prepare?

Busy-mess Zombie

Dear Biz,

Eating brains like eating walnuts. Just crack open shell and go to town. “On the run” is only way to eat them. If you stopping to cook them, you are doing it wrong because while you getting fancy, other zombies eating all the best brains. Dude, are you even real zombie at all? Don’t make Zombie take back your Zombie Card.

yrs,
Zombie
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Hey Zombie!

I bought some pants but I don’t like them. Should I return them? They are pretty but they look like pyjamas.

Freya

Heya Freya,

Sounds like pants are cursed. That only reason for how you can think they pretty but you not like them but then you buy them anyway. Or maybe they are just pajamas. Are they just pajamas? Maybe that is problem.

yrs,
Zombie
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Dear Zombie,

How do zombies feel about being controlled by a necromancer? My friend is determined to have a pet zombie, he said he would feed it all the brains and body parts it wanted, but I don’t believe that zombies should be pets.

Yours Truly
Ninja Kitty

Hello Kitty,

Zombie not have time for romance. Not to say Zombie not flattered, but Zombie not want to get into a whole thing. Also, if friend say he want a zombie pet, friend is kookoobananas and you should probably not hang out with him so much anymore. Does friend wear eyeliner and want to be called “Shayde”? Maybe friend should listen to some show tunes now and then, just to break things up.

yrs,
Zombie
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Zombie,

How do you hang a taildown pipe?

Rob

Come on Rob,

You shoulda figured that one out before you went up the ladder.

yrs,
Zombie
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Facebook. Where peepul go to say stuff what not make sense.

FreeFace BookCredits promises:
ITS_FREEEEE!

Ooh, let Zombie just click all 500 of your links, then. -Z

Michelle G. notices
Sometimes things get so hectic in life I feel like zombies were eating my brains while I sleep.

That was supposed to be just between you and Zombie. Now errybody gonna want in. -Z

Lynn N.C. exclaims:
THE “S” IS BACKWARDS!

Run! Run for your lives! -Z
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Need advice from Zombie? Zombie want to help. For reals.
Write to Zombie at ZombieAdvice(at)PopCap.com.
Or just leave Facebook comment by mashing keyboard with fist. You going to do whatever you want anyway. Why Zombie expect anything different?


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