The average person’s New Year’s resolution is pretty predictable. There’s a reason it’s suddenly a lot more crowded at the gym this time of year. I don’t even bother asking people what their resolutions are, because A) the answers will be almost invariably dull, and B) 96% of them will have been broken by the time the week’s out anyway.
But there are some non-human people here at PopCap, and I was definitely interested in what resolutions they might have made:
Lex: You are what you eat, and I always eat my words! While you really can’t beat the classics, and I love a good B-I-F-U-R-C-A-T-E-D or M-E-T-A-L-L-U-R-G-Y as much as the next worm, I can’t help feeling a little envious of you kids these days with your slang! I hear it’s pretty “money.” (Did I do that right? It tasted great!)
Marina: I’ve got the wickedest power set, but it can have some unfortunate side effects. This year, I’m going to figure out how to maximize my Peggle blast power output… while minimizing the number of blackouts I cause up and down the East Coast. Sorry about those interruptions, Coney Island! And um, give my regards to Broadway! I really didn’t mean to interfere with anyone’s stage effects.
Kat Tut: This year, I’m investing in higher-quality yarn. I’ll get to play with it even harder and longer when it doesn’t shred quite so quickly! The little joys in life are always worth splurging on!
Stinky: Same resolution I make every year. Learn to forgive Nimbus. Be more patient with Clyde. Accept that no matter how hard I try, I’m just not going to make it in time for every coin that falls, so I can’t hold it against them when they beat me to it. And Nimbus’ eyes are on top, so he doesn’t even see me down there. He’s not being cruel when he just keeps bouncing the coins over my head while I wait patiently below, thinking, “Hey man, toss me the ball, I’ll catch it this time, I swear!” He doesn’t mean to taunt me that way. This is why I like gardening though. No smug, speedy, fin-flipping fish to compete with in the garden. It’s so peaceful there, it’s like a state of… zen.
Red Gem: I’ve got to find a way to stand out from the crowd. Everyone looks at me and sees just one of a possible set of three, and sure, okay, that’s part of who I am. But there’s a lot more to me than that. I’m a multi-faceted ruby in the rough, and I’ll find my way to shine.
Renfield: This will be the year I master my Jackson Pollock impression. He’s a challenge, because for some reason, anyone else who throws paint gets written off. It’s a conundrum.
Gondola: Across the ages, one’s resolve is called into question at times of great challenge. One’s true nature is tested, tempered like steel, hammered upon the forge of adversity. Oh, you are inquiring not about one’s resolve, but my own New Year’s resolution? Yeah, I got nothin’.