Ask a Zombie: ‘Advice to the Lovelorn’ Edition


Dear Zombie,

I have this strange guy-friend who once said to me that he’d rather date a zombie than me. Then, last week, he asked me out for some random reason, and I said yes. Then we got into a fight, then things went back to normal, with us hating one another. Then he accepts my friend request on Facebook. Please tell me how to deal with him.

Also, why do zombies like brains so much?

Abbey

Dear A Bee.

Wow, sounds like you two is already married. HAHAHA! Zombie made a funny. HAHA! Good one, Zombie. Uh… Sorry, Zombie forgot what was talking about… Let Zombie read that letter again. Blah blah blah guy-friend blah blah date blah blah blah fight blah blah friend blah blah Facebook blah. Okay, Zombie think you like this guy and you should just make him your boyfriend and get it over with.

In re: last question, if you has to ask, you will not ever understand.

yrs,
Zombie

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Dear Zombie,

My best friend is mad because Im always busy too busy to text her back. She yells and shouts and screams about how i never respond and I never really have time what do I do? I try to text her but Im always SUPER busy and have no time to respond before shes mad What can I do so I dont lose my friend?

Brandonsgirl225

Dear Ms. 225

Let Zombie spel it out for you:

mabey u shud txt frnd insted uv ritin 2 ZomB

Zombie just saying is all.

yrs,
Zombie

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Dear Zombie,

I’m falling in love with this girl I met, but she lives like two hours away from me, I’m scared of a long distance relationship, what can I do? you know what people say about long distance relationships, please let me know! use your wisdom!

Signed,

Pansholeene V.

Dear Pansa Pashno Person,

Zombie have a lot of questions. Not sure how you falled for girl who live in the future. Do you have a time machine? Does Future Girl have time machine? Did Future You come back to tell Now You to meet girl in future? That last one always bad. If you see Future You, make sure he don’t kill a butterfly.

yrs,
Zombie

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Memo to “Irritable Ivan”

Zombie has lot of brains to eat letters to read. Please keep shirt on.

yrs,
Zombie

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Need advice from Zombie? Zombie want to help.
Write to Zombie at ZombieAdvice(at)PopCap.com.
But do not type “(at)”. Use the @ thingy. Zombie just trying to cut down on spam.


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