Ask a Zombie


Dear Zombie,

Which should I buy first: a cob cannon or a winter melon? I will not attack you unless it is necessary.

Signed,
Luke

Dear Everybody,

Zombie getting lot of questions like this. “What is best way to kill zombies?” “How do I stop zombie invasion?” “How I make zombies go away?” Let Zombie answer question with question: Did Trojans aks Achilles to point to his weak spot?  Do bad guys ask Superman where to get kryptonite? (FYI, Batman has some “just in case.”) Did Delilah say to Samson “how come you so strong?” Okay, maybe that last one is ungood example, but Zombie think you get the point.

If you need romantic advice (eat brains), help with problem at work (eat brains), want to know if you should buy 3-D TV (no), Zombie happy to help. But zombie not going to tell you how to make ex-zombies. That is comflikt of interest.

yrs,
Zombie

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Dear Zombie,

Is Bradley Voytek your friend?  Do you like neuroscience?  Do you think I should aim for a career in neuroscience?

Best Wishes,
A Wannabe Neuroscientist

Dear Wannabe,

Zombie does not know what is that science thing or what is a Bravely Vorbok so zombie look them up. Hang on…

Okay, Zombie know what you are talking about now and am going to save you all that money for grad skool. Here is only thing to know about brains: they are deelishus. Why you want to waste time studying brain when you could be eating it? And peepul say Zombie not very smart. Vardley Borktek have cool lip-beard thing, though. Maybe Zombie grow one, too.

yrs,
Zombie
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Dear Zombie,

How do you tell an ugly zombie from a handsome zombie? And how do you compliment them?

Yrs,
Confused Human

Dear Confused Human (Zombie think that is all of you, btw),

Zombie have very simple way to tell them apart. All zombies are handsum. Maybe confused humans not think so but maybe you not as suhfistik sofitsi smrt as zombies. Anyhoo, best way to complimnet handsum zombie is stand perfektly still and when handsum zombie gets close, bow down a little bit and show top of your head. Handsum zombie can take it from there.

yrs,
Zombie

Have question for Zombie? Zombie have answer. Write to Zombie at ZombieAdvice(at)PopCap.com. But don’t type “(at)”. Use the @ thingy. Zombie just trying to cut down on spam.


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